Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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