You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
