for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This is classic penis vs brain.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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