I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
