no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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