So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
