How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
