Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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