Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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