ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize