I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
