I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
