we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
