I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
