He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need water and some morals
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
