the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
