we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
