Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
