Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
