Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
