even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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