i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
