so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
