I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize