You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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