But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
