Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
