Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
