I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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