I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
