Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
