STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
