Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
How's work?
Spinning.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
