there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my being single is dangerous.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize