Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
