we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
