Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
