Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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