can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
