If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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