So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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