I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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