Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
