Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
