ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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