One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
