Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
