yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
