I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
