remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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