I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Everything about him screamed your future.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
