A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
