so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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