Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
