Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
