Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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