all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize