I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
