its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
