ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
