Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
