Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
