The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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