a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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