Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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