Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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