After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
