Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
